Co-Sleeping With Older Children Is a Popular Practice With Some Parents, But Is It Actually Safe?

When you’re a parent, all you want to do is be close to your child, and do whatever you can to make them feel safe and comforted, especially when it comes to going to bed. Some children can face bedtime anxiety over a fear of the dark, a fear of nightmares or simply a fear of being separate from their parents. For some parents this looks like lingering in your child’s room until they fall asleep, purchasing nightlights, or even co-sleeping.

It’s pretty widely agreed upon that it’s not a great idea to co-sleep with babies, but some families do choose to co-sleep with their older children. Celebrities and regular families alike engage in this practice, with the most notable celebrity proponent of co-sleeping being Kourtney Kardashian, who has revealed that she not only co-sleeps with her infant children, but she also co-slept with her older children Penelope and Mason until they were 11 and 7 respectively. (1)

However just because celebrities practice and celebrate co-sleeping, that doesn’t mean that the practice doesn’t carry a certain taboo. Parenting decisions and parenthood more broadly can often be pretty controversial, with everyone billing themselves as an expert on what is right and wrong when it comes to making decisions about children.

Read on if you’re curious about why some parents, famous and otherwise, still co-sleep with their children and what sleep doctors have to say about the practice.

Why Do Some Parents Co-Sleep With Their Older Children?

Kourtney Kardashian, one of the more famous co-sleeping celebrities, explained why she chooses to co-sleep with her older children on the Skinny Confidential’s Him and Her podcast. Hello Magazine reports that Kourtney choses to co-sleep with her children because “As a mother, I like to do what feels natural and instinctual to me. And that’s for me what it is.” (1)

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are other notable co-sleeping celebs, with Ryan opening up about the couple’s sleeping arrangements with their four children on the “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast, saying that he “can’t even go to sleep unless they’re in our bed.”

Newsweek also interviewed other mothers who co-sleep with their older children, with mom Jamie Krenn sharing that she continues to co-sleep with her tween daughter saying that her and her daughter use the time as a chance to reconnect. Jamie says, “These nights aren’t just for sleep; they’re for reading, catching up on life, venting about the world, and sharing some much-needed cuddles. Plus, the oxytocin boost from the closeness is great for our brains.” (2)

Is Co-Sleeping With Older Children Safe?

Dr. Abigail Strang, pediatric pulmonologist and spokesperson for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine told Sleepopolis that “Co-sleeping is not recommended prior to age one due to safety concerns. After age one, co-sleeping is an option per family and cultural preference, as long as the parent is not using alcohol or other substances which may cause impairment. Regardless of location, a consistent bedtime routine is important for overall sleep health.” (3)

While co-sleeping with your older children can be conducted in a way that is physically safe, the jury is still out on whether or not it is emotionally safe for children. A study from 2018 analyzing how co-sleeping can affect the sleep of anxious children found that “frequent co-sleeping might serve as a risk and/or maintaining factor of anxiety pathology vis-à-vis disrupted sleep practices. (4)

Ultimately, if you want to co-sleep with your older children, that choice is personal and up to what is right for you and your family. If you have questions or concerns about co-sleeping with your older children, you should consult your pediatrician or doctor. Additionally, Sleepopolis recommends following the ABC guidelines for safe infant sleep.

1 in 4 Parents Say Their Kids Have Bedtime Anxiety — Here’s What An Expert Suggests

Hargrave, Hannah. Kourtney Kardashian defends divisive parenting decision: ‘I do what feels natural’. Hello Magazine. September 17, 2024. https://www.hellomagazine.com/healthandbeauty/mother-and-baby/718660/kourtney-kardashian-defends-co-sleeping-all-four-children-divisive-parenting-decision/
Gray, Daniella. Kourtney Kardashian and the moms still co-sleeping with their tweens. Newsweek. September 28, 2024. https://www.newsweek.com/kourtney-kardashian-moms-still-co-sleeping-tweens-1958572
Strang, Abigail. Personal Interview. September 27, 2024.
Palmer, Cara A., Clementi, Michelle A., Meers, Jessica M., et al. Co-sleeping among school-aged anxious and non-anxious children: Associations with sleep variability and timing. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology. 2018. DOI: 10.1007/s10802-017-0387-1