The Ultimate Guide To Sleep Training Your Baby

For new parents, watching your children grow brings precious, memorable moments every day. Their first steps, their first word — each new month of their first year might be marked with a photo or video shoot to remember the occasion. However, amidst all the joy, many parents struggle to get their newborns to sleep, and as a result, struggle to get any shuteye themselves.

Almost every parent faces baby bedtime burdens, whether it’s trying to find an affordable crib mattress or adapting to a child’s sleep regression. Fortunately, there is plenty of research on helping parents get their babies to rest peacefully through sleep training. I’ll share some of the insights and strategies I’ve discovered to help your baby get back to sleep, so you can too!

What is Sleep Training?

Helping your baby learn to sleep through the night on their own is called sleep training, also referred to as sleep coaching. However, it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach. This is because every child is unique, and every parent will have their own parenting style. 

According to Huckleberry Sleep Expert and Director of Pediatric Expertise, Amber LoRe, “There’s no cookie-cutter approach. It’s very individual for a family.”

The goal is always to encourage your child’s sleep agency while still offering all the love and support they expect from a parent.

Common Misconceptions About Sleep Training 

“Sleep training is not a technique to stop night feedings before it’s age-appropriate, not a license to ignore your baby’s needs, and not child abuse,” says Nicole Johnson, founder and Lead Pediatric Sleep Consultant for The Baby Sleep Site. 

In other words, sleep training your baby doesn’t mean letting them cry it out for endless hours. But it may require not giving in to the parental urge to jump every time your child whimpers in the night.  

According to licensed psychologist, fellow of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, and author of Become Your Child’s Sleep Coach, Dr. Lynelle Schneeberg, some parents are concerned that sleep training could be “harmful for the attachment bond.” However, proper sleep training doesn’t have to involve prolonged periods of crying to be effective. There’s no evidence that brief periods of protest tears for a child in a loving home causes any harm.” 

Sleep coaching isn’t just strict parenting, and it certainly isn’t child neglect. Quite the contrary: one 2016 study published in the journal Pediatrics found that gradually reducing parental involvement after a baby’s bedtime may “provide significant sleep benefits above control, yet convey no adverse stress responses or long-term effects on parent-child attachment or child emotions and behavior.”

When Should I Start Sleep Training, and How Long Does It Take?

Dr. Lynelle Schneeberg suggests sleep training your baby after they are six months old. However, she points out that this is only for children exhibiting healthy growth and weight gain. Other experts, such as Dr. Harvey Karp, author of “The Happiest Baby on the Block” and a child development expert, have said it’s safe to start sleep training children as young as 4 months old.

Other experts, such as Dr. Scott A. Rivkees, a Yale University pediatrician and circadian rhythm researcher, point out the need to wait to sleep-train children until they are comfortably out of the newborn phase (4 to 12 weeks), as their circadian rhythm develops postnatally. In one study, Dr. Rivkees points out, “After birth, there is progressive maturation of the circadian system outputs, with pronounced rhythms in sleep-wake and hormone secretion generally developing after 2 months of age.” Put simply, children are establishing sleep routines necessary for a regulated sleep-wake cycle during the first few months of life.

When it comes to how long it takes to get results, it’s case by case. Every child is different, and every parent has a different approach and ability when training their child to achieve quality sleep.​ However, when you start training your baby to sleep more independently, you will likely see results quickly.

According to Amber LoRe, “You can see significant progress in three to four days. Then, on the other hand, if you’re doing the slower, more gradual techniques and methods, that could take weeks or months, depending on how fast a parent wants to go and how consistent they are. It’s really quite a spectrum.” The article, “Infant sleep training: rest easy?”, discusses sleep training methods, noted that “Although parents might initially find this method distressing, the infant’s sleep usually improves within 1 week.”

Notably, this 2021 study found that sleep training can encourage earlier bedtimes and shorten the time it takes infants to fall back asleep after waking at night. You’ll find multiple studies that suggest various benefits of sleep-training your child. 

Parents should keep in mind that sleep-training may take a toll on them, too. It’s important to prepare yourself for the potential shame, anxiety, or stress that comes with having to listen to your child cry or struggle to sleep, from afar. It will take patience and willpower, and may not be for everyone, but overall, I do think the benefits of sleep training outweigh the cons.

Methods for Sleep Training

“Cry-It-Out”

This cry-it-out method is exactly what it sounds like. This involves putting your fully awake child in their crib and letting them cry themselves to sleep. Expert opinions vary on the pros and cons of this method, and some studies even conflict over its effects. 

However, one standout 2020 study concluded that this method “may reduce problematic behavior and does not harm the infant’s socioemotional development.” Regardless, some experts may see this method as more of a problem for parents’ emotional patience, as it may leave them feeling ashamed and neglectful of their loved ones.

Finding the right balance is key. Schneeberg says there are different sleep-training philosophies, “Every specialist recommends a certain range of time to leave babies while they learn a way to self-soothe. You don’t want to leave them so briefly that they don’t have a chance to learn this sleep skill, but don’t want to leave them so long that it’s overly hard on the parent.”

Despite multiple studies finding that this method did not cause harm to children, Jodi Mindell, a psychologist at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, thinks this method is what brings a bad reputation to sleep training, saying, “I think unfortunately sleep training has gotten a really bad rap because it’s been equated with this moniker called ‘cry it out’.” 

Mindell added, “There’s a popular belief that ‘cry it out’ is the fastest way to teach babies to sleep independently. But there’s no evidence that’s true. Parents are looking for what’s the most effective method. But what that is depends on the parents and the baby. It’s a personalized formula. There’s no question about it. And if nothing seems to work, don’t push too hard. For about 20% of babies, sleep training just doesn’t work.”

Mindell’s emphasis on varying experiences for both the child and parent is key here. While some studies support the cry-it-out method’s effectiveness, it remains controversial. With inconsistent expert views, research, and parental experiences, this method is best seen as just one potential option, not ‘the cure’.

If you do attempt this method, it’s important to remember that crying times can vary from child to child. One child might cry for a couple of minutes, while another might cry for an hour or longer before falling asleep without their parents’ presence. 

Regardless of how long your baby cries, with consistency (and, I suppose, parental emotional strength), the crying should decrease after the first few nights. While your child may be an exception, in most cases they should be able to fall asleep with minimal fussing or crying within a couple of days of starting this method.

No study proves this is the only, or even guaranteed, way to sleep-train your child. But there is quite a bit of research that supports its effectiveness; however, if you prefer a gentler approach, there are alternative options.

Ferber Method (Aka Check And Console)

The check-and-console method, also known as the Ferber method, is a potentially softer version of the cry-it-out method. This method has parents checking on their child at timed intervals while the child is crying. 

For example, the first night, you could let them cry for a couple of minutes before checking in on them. Then, slowly, you increase the time between these intervals each night so your baby becomes less used to you responding to their cries and begins to learn to self-soothe.

Although this method may involve less crying than its “cry-it-out” counterpart, it still involves some crying. Seeing their cargeiver frequently, may cause them to cry more rather than soothe them. Also, following the Ferber method means that you have to establish a consistent routine and stick to it.

On the first night, when you check on your child, try to avoid picking them up and instead focus on offering verbal comfort and reassurance. Additionally, gradually make your visits less and less frequent. At first, try out three to five minutes before checking in on them, then increase it to six to ten, and so on.

On the second night, you can start with 10 minutes between checks in if they’re crying, then 15 minutes. On the third night, start with 15 minutes and increase to 20, then 25, and so on. 

You may not need to continue these timed intervals if your baby is beginning to fall asleep on their own. But if this isn’t the case, you may have to continue increasing the time between check-ins in a linear progression, as I described.

The first few days may look something like this:

First Night

1. First check-in: Wait three minutes
2. Second check-in: Wait five minutes
3. Third check-in and subsequent check-ins: Wait ten minutes

Second Night

1. First check-in: Wait five minutes
2. Second check-in: Wait ten minutes
3. Third check-in and subsequent check-ins: Wait 12 minutes

Third Night

1. First check-in: Wait ten minutes
2. Second check-in: Wait 12 minutes
3. Third check-in and subsequent check-ins: Wait 15 minutes

Pick Up, Put Down Method

This method is more hands-on than other methods. It involves picking up your crying baby, soothing them until they are calm, returning them to their crib, and leaving the room once they are asleep. It’s comparable to the “No Tears” method, which involves similar steps.

Repeat these steps as needed, but keep in mind that you don’t have to rush into the room at the first sound of your baby’s cry. You can wait a few minutes to see if they fall asleep on their own. If not, then you can enter the room and soothe them. In this situation, it’s key to make sure your child falls asleep in their crib instead of in your arms to avoid reinforcing a routine you’re trying to change. 

Because the pick-up, put-down method is among the gentlest sleep-training methods, it can take longer to sleep-train a baby this way. However, if you have the time and patience, this can be an effective sleep training method for some. Keep in mind, though, that some babies may become overstimulated when picked up too often. 

Chair Method

With the chair method, you should lay your baby down in the crib drowsy, but awake. Then sit in a nearby chair and wait until your baby falls asleep. Once they do, you can leave the room. 

If your baby starts to cry, you can return to the chair and comfort them by talking until they fall back asleep. Repeat this process, moving the chair farther from the crib every few nights. Continue positioning the chair further away until you are completely outside the room. 

While this can be an effective method for sleep training your baby, it can also be difficult for parents who have a hard time watching their child cry without intervention. If that sounds like you, then you can also try something known as the “Sleep Lady Shuffle”. This technique mirrors the Chair Method, but you can pat or pick up your baby when they start to cry.

Though the chair method can be impactful for some, Schneeberg also notes that not all babies will stay drowsy when you put them in the crib — some may feel wide awake as soon as they realize they’re out of your arms or not being rocked. “So it’s more realistic to say that a baby will need to learn how to go from fully awake to fully asleep on their own in the crib by self-soothing,” she says. 

Bedtime Fading

Bedtime fading involves pushing your baby’s bedtime back in 15-minute increments. This method is often preferred by parents who are looking for a less taxing approach. The idea behind the bedtime fading method is that your baby will be more tired later in the evening and should have less trouble falling asleep. 

Continue pushing your baby’s bedtime back by 15-minute increments until they can fall asleep on their own. Once your baby is falling asleep consistently, you can move the baby’s bedtime back up in 15-minute increments until the ideal bedtime is reached. 

For instance, let’s say you put your baby down to sleep around 7:30 each night. Keep pushing the bedtime back, first to 7:45 p.m., then to 8:00 p.m., and so on. Write down the time your baby is falling asleep on their own each night.

Once you’ve reached the sweet spot — say your child falls asleep on their own at 8:30 p.m. — keep them on the schedule for at least a few days.

Now the goal is to gradually shift your baby back to their ideal sleep schedule. Once your baby is falling asleep consistently at 8:30 p.m., push their bedtime up to 8:15 p.m. Once they are falling asleep around 8:15 p.m., wait two to three days to push their bedtime back to 8:00 p.m., and so on until they’re back on the schedule that works for your family. 

It’s important to note that experts have different stances regarding bedtime fading — some say it’s acceptable for infants, while others, like Schneeberg, caution that it may be better for older children who actively resist bedtime. 

“The primary problem with this method is that overtired babies and children wake more frequently when they are overtired,” says Johnson. “You may inadvertently make sleep even worse at night with this method.”

Can You Sleep-Train Your Baby for Naps?

Yes, you can sleep-train your baby for naps. As Cara Dumaplin, RN, BSN, Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, writes in her article “Sleep Training for Naps”, “You can sleep train for naps! For some families, nap training can help them get the restorative daytime sleep they need when it seems naps just won’t happen.”

But opinions differ on whether you should do this in sequence or simultaneously.

Erin Junker, a pediatric sleep consultant and owner of the Happy Sleep Company, says, “I absolutely sleep coach for naps and nights at the same time.” “There are differing opinions on that, but when I see parents who have tried to do it separately, I see parents who have been sleep coaching for a long time because they’re not having success with it—because their baby is confused.”

Junker goes on to say that if you’re letting your baby sleep independently at night, but rocking them to nap during the day, the lack of consistency can result in the baby not understanding how to respond to each sleep-time scenario.

LoRe suggests training your baby for naps and bedtime separately. According to LoRe, “When you do sleep train, it can lead to some overtiredness at first when they’re learning these new habits.” She adds, “So to do it all at once can be overwhelming for everybody, and it can also lead to a lot of overtiredness, which just leads to more crying and can make the whole process more challenging.”

Is Sleep Training Safe?

Cleveland Clinic suggests sleep training is both safe and healthy. Multiple studies have reported that sleep training babies offers a range of benefits, including improving the quality of the child’s sleep and parents’ mood by helping them get a full night’s sleep.

Notably, one 2012 study published in the journal “Pediatrics” found no long-term effects on child development or parent-child bond associated with sleep training.

What is Night Weaning, and How is it Different from Sleep Training?

Night weaning is the gradual reduction of nighttime feedings (bottle or breast) to help your child learn to sleep at night without needing to be fed. Sleep training focuses on helping your child self-soothe to fall asleep independently. 

They can be done at the same time, but this is not essential. According to Junker, “I like to dispel the myth that sleep coaching has to mean removing all the overnight feeds.”

Night weaning and sleep training can be done separately or simultaneously, but the approach should be determined by your child’s specific nutritional needs and age. According to the Australian Parenting, funded by the Australian government, “For formula-fed children, you can consider phasing out night feeds from 6 months.” And for “For breastfed children, night weaning might be an option from 12 months.”

Sleep Training Tips

In addition to the sleep training methods discussed above, there are several other techniques that can be used to sleep train. Some techniques are specifically intended for newborns but aspects of these techniques can be used for older babies if they prove helpful. It is important to keep in consideration that some children are naturally better sleepers while others will need more nurturing and help to get a good night’s sleep. The same sleep training approaches will not work for all babies, even within the same family. Parents should be open to trying different techniques to find the approach that works best for them.

Create a Consistent Daytime Schedule

Getting a baby up at the same time each morning, feeding them, and having nap time around the same time each day helps to create a feeling of security and allows the baby to relax. Relaxed babies will be easier to get settled for sleep.

Break Any Sleep Onset Associations

“Every child has what’s called a sleep onset association, also known as a sleep crutch,” says Schneeberg. “In other words, the way you put your baby to sleep at bedtime is the way your baby will want to get back to sleep upon waking. If you rock him to sleep, he’ll wake up wanting to be rocked back to sleep.” She explains that this extends to all other sleep onset associations — rocking, nursing, and being carried or driven around can all become sleep onset associations in babies. 

Of course, it’s natural to want to rock your baby and spend that close, quality time together before bedtime. Schneeberg simply recommends making sure nursing, rocking, or anything else you don’t want to do every time your infant wakes up isn’t the final step in their bedtime routine. 

“Instead, rock and nurse them a bit before you plan on putting them down to sleep, and then add a couple more steps to conclude the routine like doing a final diaper change and then reading a book or singing a song before you put them into the crib,” she says.

Create a Consistent Bedtime Routine

Use bedtime cues, like singing a lullaby, playing soft music, warm baths, or reading a story to let your baby know it’s time to go to bed. Getting into a consistent nighttime routine will help your baby recognize that it’s time to go to sleep.

Choose a Technique That Works For You and Be Consistent

Choose the method that works best for you and your parenting style. “You’re only going to see success if the parent is comfortable with the methods they’re using,” says LoRe.

What works for one family may not necessarily work for another, and that’s okay! Choose the technique that you feel most comfortable with and make sure all caregivers are on board with how best to execute your family’s sleep training plan.

Follow Your Child’s Sleepy Time Cues

Babies will typically give some type of visual cue that they’re tired. Whether it’s yawning, growing fussy, or arching their back, your baby is likely sending you sleepy signals. Use these visual cues to gauge an appropriate bedtime for your baby.

Lay Your Baby Down While Awake

Try to get your baby in a drowsy state when it’s time for bed. Your baby may naturally feel tired and send you cues such as yawning or increased fussiness. If your baby is sending you these cues, it’s time to put them to bed.

If your baby isn’t becoming tired on their own, you can use your own cues to signal that it’s time to sleep. Cues may include a nighttime bath, dim lights, or calming music. While you want your baby to be drowsy, be sure to put them down in their crib while they’re still awake. This will teach them to fall asleep independently rather than relying on you to soothe them to sleep.

Call In the Experts

If it’s within your family budget, call in some reinforcements. You can hire a night nanny or doula for your baby so you can get some rest. You can also work with a certified sleep consultant to get feedback and guidance on your particular family situation. Another option is to reach out to a nearby sleep center, which will have a sleep psychologist on staff — these sleep centers do accept insurance.

Create a Comfortable Environment

Research suggests babies sleep best in the same way many adults do: in a dark, cool, and calm environment. If you can, avoid turning on the lights when you enter your baby’s room. Instead, use dim lighting or a nightlight to keep the room dark. Playing calming music or using a white noise machine can also create a comfortable sleeping environment for your baby.

Manage Your Expectations

While quick progress can be made once you start sleep training, you should also manage your expectations.

“There are going to be tears involved in sleep coaching,” says Junker. “If we’re sleep coaching, that means baby has always slept one way and now the family has decided they need baby to learn to sleep a different way. And when it comes to change, babies protest it,” says Junker.

Going into sleep training understanding that it’s a process and major changes likely won’t occur overnight will help you better manage your expectations. Be gentle with yourself and your baby!

When to Call a Doctor

Generally, you should be able to get through sleep training without having to take your child to a doctor, though experts do recommend connecting with your pediatrician for tips and to ask any unanswered questions. It could also be worth consulting a doctor if it appears your child has some pain, discomfort, or illness that seems to be hindering the process. 

“You should have your baby examined by a doctor if they have a cold or possible ear infection, as your child will be fussy or uncomfortable lying flat,” says Poinsett. “Your pediatrician can also reassure you that your infant is healthy and may provide some suggestions for good infant sleep.

The Last Word From Sleepopolis

If you’re looking for more restful sleep for both you and your baby, sleep training can be an effective way of teaching your baby to sleep independently. Just don’t be surprised if you feel a little wave of sadness when the training kicks in and your baby is sleeping through the night—those late nights rocking your baby to sleep might be precious moments you want to hold onto after all. 

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