Emotional Health and Sleep: Mindful Strategies to Support Kids

Long Story Short

Sleep difficulties affect about 20 percent of adolescents and 22 percent of children. (1)
One in four parents say their children can’t sleep because they feel anxious or worried. (2)
Sleep disorders in kids have been linked to brain function and behavioral, emotional, and physical health. (1)
Families can support better emotional health for a better night’s sleep in many ways, including practicing mindfulness, incorporating breathing exercises, and implementing cognitive behavioral tactics into their routines. (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

As children grow and change rapidly, their emotional health and sleep can affect one another in good ways and bad. Plenty of kids fight bedtime, and others may have trouble sleeping through the night. Using techniques to address both their emotional health and their sleep habits, we can point you in the right direction to help your child get their best rest yet.

Note: The content on Sleepopolis is meant to be informative in nature, but it shouldn’t be taken as medical advice, and it shouldn’t take the place of medical advice and supervision from a trained professional. If you feel you may be suffering from any sleep disorder or medical condition, please see your healthcare provider immediately.

Kids’ Emotional Health and Sleep

Sleep plays an important role in a child’s emotional health, mental health, and overall well being. A good night of sleep rejuvenates kids’ bodies and helps their brains process new information, says Cherilyn Davis (Cecchini), M.D., a pediatrician practicing in New York City.

A good night’s rest can help any child regulate their emotions, says Davis. “Many of us can relate to waking up without enough sleep and feeling grumpy — kids experience those exact same emotions. It can be tougher for them to pay attention and stay on task if they’re tired.”

Emotional health benefits of sleep in children and teens include: (7) (8) (9)

Improved processing of difficult emotions
Consolidating and storing positive memories
Minimizing worry, anxiety, and social withdrawal (10)
Helping diminish feelings of confusion, anger, frustration, and irritability
Improving perceptions of their environment and people in their lives
Feeling fewer negative emotions and more positive emotions (9)

How Much Sleep Do My Kids Need?

According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, children need this much sleep per 24 hours by age group: (11)

Infants (four to 12 months): 12 to 16 hours
Children aged 1 to 2 years: 11 to 14 hours
Children aged 3 to 5 years: 10 to 13 hours
Children aged 6 to 12 years: 9 to 12 hours
Teens aged 13 to 18 years: 8 to 10 hours

Sometimes sleep loss does more than make a kid cranky — if they get too little sleep regularly, it can lead to (or arise from) emotional health concerns like: (8) (12) (13)

Impulsivity: Impulsivity can be a good thing, like when you jump at the chance for a great opportunity. But for kids, poor sleep can boost their risk for more impulsive behavior, leading to poor decisions and misbehavior at school and home. (7) (14)
Stress: Stress and poor sleep can each make the other worse. (15) (16) One recent study found teenage girls’ sleep was especially affected by stress. (17)
Depression: According to an analysis of three studies during the COVID pandemic, 22 to 44 percent of children and adolescents have depression. (18) (19) Depression can easily make it harder to sleep, and poor sleep can also make depressive symptoms worse, which means when you treat one, you may also help the other. (20)
Anxiety: In the same study review that spoke to depression, almost 20 percent of children and 37 percent of teens report anxiety symptoms. (18) Anxiety and sleep can also have a bidirectional relationship where poor sleep can make a child anxious, which makes it even harder to sleep. (16)
Aggressive behavior: As sleep quality decreases, aggressive behavior can become more frequent, and include things like fighting, yelling, or damaging belongings (more than kids already do!). (7) (21)
Thinking problems: Sleep plays an important role in brain health, and a lack of quality slumber can make it hard for kids to concentrate. In one large study, pre-teens with less than nine hours of sleep a day showed brain structure differences and difficulty thinking. (20)

Sleep and Brain Development

Sleep helps a child’s brain grow and develop, boosting not only intelligence but emotional health. (22) Rapid-eye movement (REM) sleep is thought to consolidate recent memories and develop the nervous system — a very important job in early brain development. (9)

That said, experts say sleep’s role in the developing brain is still somewhat of a mystery, although research is ongoing. (23) Most studies that include brain images were done on children over five years old. And while studies suggest sleep does a lot for adult memories, experts don’t fully understand how it works in kids. (9)

On top of cementing memories, some research proposes sleep deprivation can affect part of the brain that supports a long attention span, which can make long school days tricky for kids who don’t get enough Zzz’s. (20) (24) (25) Good sleep can pave the way for kids’ to behave, feel, and perform at their best. (25)

This can be even more true for children with learning disabilities like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). For these children, positive sleep habits can help them stay more focused in the classroom. (26)

Of course, for any child, sleep can help them in school by improving their memory, learning ability, creative thinking, and concentration. (9) (20)

Strategies to Improve Kids’ Sleep

No two kids are alike, and while we can’t offer personalized sleep tips to each individual child in the world, we can provide curated sleep strategies for kids with specific sleep and emotional health concerns. Read on to find detailed sleep tips for your child.

Sleep Strategies for Kids with Stress and Anxiety

Kids can get stressed and anxious about their life, whether they worry over a test at school or an argument with a friend. (27) If your child is feeling anxious, you can try infusing their nighttime routine with calm, says Davis.

Establish a Calm Bedtime Environment and Routine

When you create a calming pre-sleep routine for your child and keep the schedule the same each night (even on weekends!), their brain will pick up on those cues and help them get sleepy at the right time. (28) “It’s okay if they need a snuggle or a hug now and then. Otherwise, do your best to stick to a routine, and stay consistent,” says Davis.

Your child’s sleep routine can include anything calming, like a warm bath, reading a book, or listening to soothing music. Try to avoid screens for at least an hour before bed, because the blue light they emit can interfere with a hormone called melatonin, which helps your child get sleepy at night. (9)

Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques

Try doing deep breathing exercises for anxiety with your child to help them relax before bed. For smaller children, you can teach “cookie breathing,” and “take-five breathing” can be a great option for older kids and teens. (4)

Deep Breathing Exercises for Kids

Follow these steps with your child to help them breathe deeply and relax:

Cookie breathing:

Picture a newly baked cookie in your open palm.
Smell the chocolate chips in a long breath in.
Blow on the hot cookie to cool it down.

Take-five breathing:

Hold out a hand and place the index finger of your other hand at the base of your palm.
As you breathe in, trace that finger up to the top of your thumb, back down, then exhale.
Repeat steps one and two for each finger.

Guided imagery and visualization techniques also work well by helping your child imagine peaceful surroundings and relax for sleep. Children’s Hospital of Orange County provides free audio guided imagery to do with your child, or you can find free scripts for parents online.

Another way to practice mindfulness with your child is progressive muscle relaxation. For example, in the “Lemon” exercise, your child will reach up as if picking lemons from a tree, squeeze the lemons as hard as they can, then throw the lemons on the ground and relax their muscles.

Cognitive Behavioral Strategies

Cognitive behavioral therapy is done by a mental health professional and can treat anxiety in older children. During this therapy, the child’s provider guides them to identify and change negative thought patterns. (27)

One method their provider may recommend is keeping a thought journal. A journal can offer a safe space to write their feelings and worries down before bed. You can help your child fill out a thought journal worksheet, download free journal pages, or help them decorate and prepare their own personalized journal. (29)

You can also teach your child to speak positive affirmations out loud to fight against negative or anxious thoughts. Some examples include, “I am courageous,” “I am strong,” “I am loved,” and I can do hard things.” (30) You can find more examples online and tailor these affirmations to your child.

Older children may want to try a “worry box,” where they can write their worries on paper and put them in the box before they go to bed. “This way, their fears are locked up tight while they’re sleeping,” says Davis. (28) You can find step-by-step instructions online to build your child’s worry box with them.

Incorporate Daily Exercise

Physical activity can help lessen symptoms of anxiety and stress and can also help your child get better sleep. Even 30 minutes of vigorous exercise can help your child fall asleep faster and increase the amount of deep (slow-wave) sleep, which helps the brain recuperate for the next day. (7) So, get those kids on a trampoline or time how fast they can run around the house a few times to get their heart pumping.

Strategies for Kids Needing Structure and Routine

Plenty of kids fight a consistent bedtime routine, even though it’s a major key to a good night’s sleep. For kids with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and ADHD, routine and structure are especially important for good sleep. (31) (32) Parenting a neurodivergent child has its share of challenges, but we hope these tips will take good sleep off that list.

Consistent Bedtime Routine & Schedule

“Many kids resist sleep because they don’t want to miss out on anything,” says Davis, “[But] following a routine will help, since their brains and bodies will start to anticipate sleep and wake up times naturally.” (32)

Leading up to bedtime, keep activities calm: have them take a warm bath, read a book, or listen to soft music. Keep these activities (and their sequence) the same each night to give them a sense of security and predictability. (28)

For kids with ASD or ADHD, sometimes a visual schedule with pictures and symbols can help them know what to expect, which can lessen anxiety around transitions. You can download free visual aids or create your own together as a fun project. (33)

Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment

Your neurodivergent child may sleep much, much better if their sleeping environment stays quiet, cool, and dark. Loud toys, electronics, and bright lights can keep their minds from calming down before bed. (9)

You can also experiment with mattresses, pillows, and bedding to curate a comfortable sleep surface your child loves. Consider trying a weighted blanket, which can calm symptoms of ASD and ADHD, and may even help them sleep. (34)(35)

Besides cozy bedding, you can also use a white noise machine to block out background sounds that could disturb your child’s sleep. (9)You can use a free white noise app, or purchase a machine just for this purpose.

Behavioral Strategies

For children with autism and ADHD, behavioral strategies can help them get comfortable with healthy behaviors, including sleep habits. (36) (37) You can use positive reinforcement to reward good sleep habits with small incentives like stickers. (38) Free printable behavior charts can be found online, or you can make one together as a fun DIY project.

Some parents use a “bedtime pass” system, where their child can get out of bed once for a specific reason like going potty or snagging one more quick snuggle. This pass can give them the choice to get up once, but encourages them to stay in bed after they’ve used it. (39)

In addition to the pass system, you can try the “gradual transition” method. Some kids have trouble winding down before bed, but if you start the bedtime routine a bit earlier by dimming the lights, turning off the TV, and getting calm and quiet as bedtime approaches, they may have an easier time chilling out for sleep. (40)

Encourage Good Nutrition

If your child has ADHD, their provider may encourage removing sugar, candy, and any food with red dye. (41) Kids with ASD may not get enough calcium and protein in their diet, which can affect many areas of their growth and development, including mental health, which affects sleep. (42) (39) Every child is different, but you can try these tips to help yours eat better: (44)

Strategies for Kids Experiencing Trauma or Grief

When a child goes through a traumatic event or significant loss, they may need some extra help to cope with their feelings and get good sleep at night. (45) “Children who have experienced trauma or loss may also feel scared at nighttime and resist going to bed,” says Davis. But you can try several strategies to soothe and reassure your child before bed.

Therapeutic Storytelling

Children often use stories to express their feelings and emotions. Encouraging them to tell or write stories can help them process their internal experience; however, if telling these stories causes your child distress, you can pause until you speak with a mental health professional.

Reading books addressing a similar trauma (bibliotherapy) can also help children work through their experience. (46) To help you come up with your own stories, you can use story cubes or a free printable story prompt sheet. (47)

Mindfulness Techniques

Just like children with anxiety and stress can benefit from mindfulness techniques, so can children who have experienced trauma or loss. In fact, mindfulness techniques may even lessen symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder in kids. (3) Children can use breathing exercises, guided imagery, and progressive muscle relaxation as described above. (4) (5) (6)

But children with trauma may also benefit from a mindfulness technique called body scan meditation, in which a child rests somewhere comfortably, and then takes note of what each part of their body feels like from their head to their toes. This technique can help them to tune into their bodies, how they feel, and calm down. (3) (48)

Creating a Safe and Comforting Sleep Environment

For children going through grief or dealing with a traumatic experience, it’s more important than ever to make their sleeping space feel safe, calm, and comfortable. (49) “For toddlers, consider spraying their room with water, described to them as a ‘special spray,’ to help them feel less scared,” says Davis.

You can also provide extra-cozy bedding, familiar blankets, and stuffed animals to help your child feel comfortable and secure in their bed. Let them help you design their sleep space to offer them some ownership and control over their sleep.

Strategies for Kids with Sensory Processing Issues

Bedtime can feel overwhelming for just about anybody, but for a child with sensory processing challenges, this feeling can be magnified. For example, these kids can be more sensitive to sound and wake often through the night, says Davis.

Create a Sensory-Friendly Sleep Environment

Kids with sensory challenges can experience a “sensory overload” when they hear, smell, taste, or feel certain sensations. Every child’s needs vary, and you can work with yours to curate their best sensory experience for bedtime. (50)

For starters, keep their bedroom dark, quiet, and cool. Experiment with different fabrics for ultimate comfort, and try weighted blankets to add a sense of security and promote sensory regulation. (51) “[You can also] explore soothing tools, like…a white noise machine,” says Davis. These handy machines can help mask disruptive sounds and prevent night-waking. (9)

Besides designing their environment, their bedtime routine can be sensory-friendly, too. Soft lighting, a warm bath, and calming scents like lavender can help set your child up for sensory sleeping success.

If you’re interested in incorporating scents, it’s important to keep in mind that essential oils have not been proven as effective by research and can sometimes have side effects. If you’re concerned about trying them, you can ask your child’s provider what they recommend. (52)

Establish a Predictable Bedtime Routine

Keep your child’s bedtime routine simple, says Davis. A short (20 to 30 minutes), predictable pre-sleep routine can help your child pick up on cues that it’s time to get sleepy. This routine can include any calm, relaxing activity like reading or listening to quiet music. (51)

It’s also a good idea to follow a regular bedtime and wake-up schedule to help your child regulate their internal clock. (51) A visual schedule can also help kids with sensory issues prepare for bed with no surprises. (33)

Mindfulness and Breathwork

Kids with sensory challenges may benefit from the same mindfulness and breathing techniques as any other child, although research results are mixed. However, the risk in performing techniques like these are also virtually zero, so they may be worth a try. (53)

Encourage your child to try breathing exercises, guided imagery, and progressive muscle relaxation to prepare for bed, or do these exercises together. (3) (4) (5) You can try these techniques as listed in the sections above, but for kids with sensory issues, it’s best to keep it simple.

For example, they can use the basic box-breathing method: breathe in for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for another four, and repeat. (54)

Emotional Health for Older Kids and Teens

As kids get older and enter their teenage years, they can take charge of their emotional health and sleep, especially through independent mindfulness practices. “Focusing on the present moment can allow them to release any anxieties or worries they carried throughout the day. This will relax their bodies, enabling them to fall asleep more easily,” says Davis, who also recommends stretching exercises, journaling before bedtime, or taking a relaxing bath or shower.

Deep Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing exercises like 4-7-8 breathing and box breathing can calm down the nervous system and lessen anxiety. (55) (56)

Journaling

Teens can try gratitude journaling by writing three things they are grateful for each evening before bed — a method that may decrease stress and depression. (57) They can also reflect on their day through journaling, acknowledging stressful events and working through worries before attempting to sleep. You can encourage them to use free journaling apps like Day One, Daylio, Momento, Penzu, and Journey.

Guided Meditations

Guided meditations can offer peaceful calm, and are especially helpful when you don’t know where to start a new mindfulness practice. Your teen can try guided meditation through free videos, or use a mindfulness app with guided meditation, like Headspace, Mindful Powers, and Calm. (58) (59)

The Last Word from Sleepopolis

Children and teenagers need enough quality sleep to regulate their emotional health. Good sleep can help kids process emotions, consolidate memories, lessen anxiety, and feel more positive emotions. (9) (10) Each child has different needs around sleep, but overall, mindfulness techniques, predictable bedtime routines, and a comfortable sleep space can help any kid sleep better.

Sources

Davis, Cherilyn, M.D. Personal Interview. September 1, 2024.